Be willing to let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. – Brene Brown
I was convinced I would never trust anyone again.
After what my ex-husband put me through: the lying to me, the lying to others about me, the gaslighting, the emotional manipulation, the use of the court system to try to control me further.
I was living in my hell.
And it was all because I trusted someone I shouldn’t have. I fell for his charade.
How could I have let that happen?
I was determined to never let it happen again.
And if that meant I couldn’t trust anyone else for the rest of my life, so be it.
BUT THAT JUST DIDN’T FEEL RIGHT.
Could it be something else?
After analyzing the situation for months on end, I finally figured out what had happened.
I hadn’t been true to myself.
I had allowed fear to control my decision making
So really, it was ME I felt I couldn’t trust.
I was the one being toxic to myself, and because of that, I had attracted this hellishly toxic person to be in a relationship with.
I left that relationship, but I have to live with ME for the rest of my life.
So being toxic to myself had to change.
I followed a specific path, although I didn’t realize I was doing it at the time.
A very specific path of healing, loving myself, and refusing to make excuses.
When I realized the tremendous internal change that had occurred, I knew from then on, no matter what I wanted to create in my life, I could do it.
Escaping from toxic relationships is just the first part of the journey.
Saying goodbye to people who aren’t good for you will only work if you take the steps to change where you aren’t good for yourself.
Your external relationships will always reflect your internal relationship.
Fix your relationship with yourself first, and everything else will fall into place.
Here are five surprising ways you can ditch that toxic relationship (with yourself), and begin to live the life you truly want to be living.
1. Stop trying to revive what’s over and should stay over.
No matter what has ended in your life, let it end. As cheesy as it can sound, if it’s meant to come back to you, it will. If not? Something *better* is on its way to you. I’ve experienced this time and time again.
* My Guide to Overcoming Toxic Relationships will help you understand and implement this belief by addressing the withdrawals and desire to go back, along with what I lovingly refer to as “The Fence.”
2. Refuse to let toxic people control you.
No one knows better how to live your life than you do. Relationships are mirrors – they hold up to us where we are doing well internally, and what could use some internal focus. That is the purpose of the toxic person in your life: to hold up that mirror. It’s not to control you. You can release that dynamic any time – just decide.
* My Guide to Overcoming Toxic Relationships will help you overcome this control issue by guiding you to trusting yourself again.
3. Sense toxic people coming (and avoid them!)
Once you recognize that relationships are mirrors (no matter how long the relationship lasts), you begin to see the toxicity coming from a mile away – and you can use it to your advantage more quickly. Use the realization that a toxic person is headed your way, or trying to engage with you, as a trigger. Let it trigger you to focus inward, and figure out where you are being poisonous to your own spirit, and heal it.
* The Guide to Overcoming Toxic Relationships will guide you to better your perspective and to holding yourself accountable, which will put the power back in your hands to sense those toxic people, do the inner work, and get them the hell out of your life!
4. Use your energy more wisely.
Be deliberate about your energy! You only have so much energy to use each day. It’s essential that you focus your spirit on what you want to be creating. Too often, when we’re stuck in a toxic situation, our focus is on how horrific it is, and then that’s all we continue to create.
* The Guide will help you regain focus by teaching you about clarity, true strength, getting rid of negative people, and yes, forgiveness.
5. Align your actions with what you truly want.
You can’t get to where you want to be without knowing where that destination is. And until you know that, you can’t align your actions to help you get there. This requires some real in-depth self-discovery – the kind that you may have been stifled against doing, especially in a toxic relationship.
You owe it not only to yourself, your friends, and your family to get your actions in line with what you want, but also to the rest of the world. Think that’s too much? It’s not. Everything we do affects everyone else, because we are all connected. When you become brave enough to go after what you truly want, someone else will be inspired to do the same.
* The Guide helps you do this by guiding you to create powerful life position and life mission statements. Think vision statement on steroids. Once you have these plans laid, they will pull you to them. You won’t want to procrastinate, because you’ll be so damn excited about the power of your vision for your life. And toxic people? They don’t stand a chance around that. In fact, they tend to ricochet right out of your experience when you’re living life this way.
Whether you’ve been in a toxic/abusive relationship or not, if you aren’t currently living the life you dream of living, somewhere along the line, you’ve been toxic to yourself and haven’t yet healed that part of you.
The Guide to Overcoming Toxic Relationships addresses that and allows you to break the pattern. It guides you to creating a NEW, EMPOWERING pattern of thought, belief, and behavior that will direct you to living the life you thought you could only imagine.
It’s not just for the imagination anymore, Baby!
I’d love for you to join me and the dozens of others who have experienced the power of Bootcamp.
With love and light,
The best insights often happen when we share our thoughts for others to see. Leave a comment below and let me know which of these 5 ways will most help you or someone you know.
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