“The soul is healed by being with children.” English proverb
“Every child you encounter is a divine appointment.” Wess Stafford
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” – Khalil Gibran
I thought I was a good Mom. I made sure my kids were growing and learning, I made sure they had everything they needed for sustenance and for development, I was focused on how important their education was, I had them involved in all kinds of sports and activities, I made sure they had their vaccines and went to the doctor when it was needed, I fed them well.
I really thought I had the Mom gig nailed.
And my oldest child had the balls to upend all of that and make me not only a better Mom, but a better human being – a better ME.
From the time he was born, he was what I lovingly referred to as persistent. As he got older, though, that persistence turned into what I not-so-lovingly thought of as downright stubbornness. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t just listen to me. He was also “distracted” at school, and was labeled with having several learning disabilities, although his IQ testing was off the charts. That should have been my first clue. It wasn’t.
It took years of back and forth frustrations, therapists, different behavioral programs (aimed at changing him, of course – not me), issues with the schools, and finally desperation, for me to realize it wasn’t HIM who needed changing. It was me. And my thought process. And my approach.
When I decided that my relationship with my child was more important than anything society said I should or shouldn’t be doing, our world began to change. And it’s only gotten better.
It was then that I realized I could only truly control my actions and reactions or responses. I can’t – and couldn’t ever, really – control my child. And knowing what I know now, I don’t want to. Ever. I want to allow my child to stand in his own truth – just the way he is. And honestly, it could be no other way. You see, my son was born as a female. And he has had the strength and courage to stand in his own truth and be willing to transform into who he really is – a male. He is truer to himself than almost anyone I’ve ever met.
Amazingly, that has given me the freedom to stand in my own truth, too. I am becoming more of who I truly am.
Children are more than gifts and blessings…they are teachers. If we have the presence of mind to look for the lessons, our lives will become more fulfilled than we ever imagined possible.
Love and light,
Melissa
Did this resonate with you? Did you enjoy reading it? Did you learn something? If so, please share! xoxo
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