I spent far too many years believing I was at the mercy of others, and blaming other people for the way my life was turning out.
I do not believe that any longer. I am now a firm believer that we create our own reality. You gotta grab life by the balls and create what you want your life to be. Unlearning old ways of thinking and reacting, and learning new ways to believe and to be proactive is difficult. Yes, it sure as hell is. Especially when you have children along for the ride. But it is possible. And wonderful. And fabulous for them to see, too.
Feeling out of control — like others are in charge of your life path and your soul is being crushed – or at the very least subdued — is maddening. Violence (through actions or words), or the threat thereof, is the quickest way for someone who feels out of control to feel in control again. When we refuse to accept and own the wounds we may carry, we reach for whatever perceived control we can get our hands on. This occurs in so many homes … domestic violence and emotional abuse can be devastating.
Most people back down when there is a threat of violence – we truly do naturally gravitate toward peace and love. That backing down, that allowing violence to win, causes a feeling of perceived control in the aggressor, and a feeling of utter helplessness in the victim. Helplessness — perceived loss of control over one’s life — is the next step in the cycle of violence.
This is why it is essential for us to heal our wounds. To take a proactive step OUT of the cycle.
Acceptance is a good thing.
(There’s the Tweetspot! ^^^ Tweet it out!)
Until we are aware that the true control is over our own thoughts and actions, and CHOOSING not to accept the invitation to an argument – to violence – the vicious cycle will continue. You can regain control over your own life path.
That’s the only control that exists: over your own thoughts, your own actions, your own journey.
Love and light,
When have you stopped a cycle or pattern that was harming you, or someone you care about? How did you do it? Please share in the comments below!