Three Ways to Help the Most Important Person In Your Tribe

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“For those of you who struggle with guilt regarding self-care, answer this question: What greater gift can you give to those you love than your own wholeness?” – Shannon Tanner

You are the most important person in your tribe.

Let’s face it.  When you are a mom (or especially a single mom), who do you have to take care of?

You.

I know, I know.

You thought the answer was going to be your kids of course, right?

But if you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of them.

I love the quote  “you can’t serve from an empty vessel.”

water pitcher and glasses

Too often women, especially single moms, feel like we have to be it all, do it all, all the time, and take no breaks. That’s just not realistic. It’s not sustainable.

The most important thing you can do is practice regular self-care. And even when you do that there are going to be times that you have to rest.

Your body will let you know. You will get a cold or some other ache or pain or illness, or you’ll feel just plain stressed out. Those are signals that you need to take a break. Yeah, you can try to push through those things but when you do you’re just spending energy that should be spent on getting better.

Listen to your body. When it tells you to rest — rest. Now I’m not saying you should always be resting because sure, you have stuff to do.  You want to make good life for yourself and for your kids and you want to reach your goals. But when you need to rest, when you need to accept help from others, do it.

1. When you need help ASK FOR IT. Reach out. Then accept the help. It does no good if you reach out and don’t accept help. And if you feel like you don’t want to accept help because you may not have anything to give that person a return doesn’t always work like that sometimes the help that you give is to somebody else and that does keep the cycle going.

2. When you’re sick, rest. You truly cannot help anyone else unless you’re helping yourself. You want to be at 100% for your kids and when you can’t be, it’s okay to let them see that you’re sick and taking care of yourself.  Not only does it set a good example for them, but it also lets them know that you care enough about them to take care of YOU so you can be at your best for them.

3. Try to make things as routine and scheduled as possible so that when you are sick or you do need some downtime somebody else (like maybe an older child or a friend or a parent who helps you) could come in and easily be able to help you out. Things will stay on track a lot better if there’s a nice easy flow to the track to begin with.

Love and light,

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When is it the most difficult for you to accept help?  What area in your life do you find it the most difficult to accept help in?  What could you do today to accept help that will move you forward?  Leave a comment below.  

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