What to Do When the No-Sex-With-The-Ex Rule is Broken

sex with ex

“At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines… or you can live your life crossing them.  But there are some lines… that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know: If you’re willing to take the chance, the view from the other side… is spectacular.” Grey’s Anatomy

Usually sex with an ex is a big no-no.  Too much drama can be stirred up, and you could very well find yourself needing to chew off a leg to get out of something you thought you’d already broken free from.  However, there are times when sex with an ex is part of the healing process.

Sometimes things are really clear and the boundaries are set.  Other times, as you work through the healing process, the boundaries are blurry.  Sometimes they need to be crossed in order to better determine where they really are.  Don’t kick yourself in the ass for crossing the line.  Instead, follow these guidelines

1.  Be upfront about your motives and emotions.  It’s the right thing to do for your ex, and, more importantly, it’s essential to stay true to yourself.

2.  Have a clear intent.  Are you just looking to hook up?  Do you enjoy your ex’s company for a certain period of time?  Are you thinking there might still be something there?  Figure that out beforehand.

3.  Recognize that while your ex may say he understands your intent and may verbalize his own intent that seems to match your own, words are just words.  When emotions come into play, the game plan can change.  It’s not your job to hold your ex’s hand, but it is important that you stand your ground about where you’re coming from and what you truly want.

Love and light,


Have you stayed strong after sex with an ex?  Leave a comment below.

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