“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein
When you are stuck in the problem mindset, the crux of emotion of the problem, there are no viable, helpful solutions that are going to come to you.
Solutions may arise, but they will be based on fear – on trying to get out of the situation – rather than on something that will truly work best for you overall.
A few years ago, I had moved out of the city my children and I were living in because of circumstances involving my divorce. After just one year, I had to move back because of a court-ordered parenting plan dictate. Since my children and I had already lived in this city, I wanted to move to an area of the city that would allow my children to attend the same school they had been in before. I wanted to make the move back as smooth as possible. I was terrified — terrified — that another move was going to be hard on them. I felt as though they’d already been through a lot, and now they had to move again, and I just didn’t want them to suffer.
I made a list of what I wanted in a rental. I researched the best ways to go about getting a rental and negotiating. I did all the right things when approaching the rental.
When I went to look at a place that seemed to fit every single one of my criteria, my gut said HELL, NO – GET THE FRIG OUT OF HERE. And I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen because I was too afraid I wouldn’t find another place that fit all the criteria. I was approaching a potential solution with the same mindset that had created the problem – fear.
I won’t go into detail, but suffice it to say, the rental situation was a nightmare.
I know without a doubt the hellish situation happened because I ignored my instincts that were trying so desperately to guide me, saying: this is not the right place for you. I didn’t trust that I’d be able to find a place with the same criteria, or perhaps something even better. I let fear guide my decision-making. I allowed my fear that somehow my children would suffer guide, rather than my understanding and true knowing that they are resilient and that by my example of how to approach different conditions they will learn about perspective and seeing the good in every situation.
Now, when I find myself fearful of a situation, I pause.
I recognize that in that state of mind, I am unable to see all potential solutions, and most definitely not the solution that will be truly best for me.
I find a way to redirect my thoughts away from trying to solve the problem until I am more calm.
I then revisit the situation when my head is on straight, and when I can allow myself to consider resolutions that, in the fear state of mind, would send me into a panic. I have found that more often than not, the situations that would send me into a panic when I’m in the wrong mindset are the best solutions ever to whatever issue I’m looking to resolve.
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With love and light,
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