“Losing your shit is part of the process of fixing something.” Bill Burr
I’ve written before about the “bitch” label. You know how it goes. A woman tries to remain calm and handle things rationally, but there are some people who will still attempt to railroad her every move. So she reaches the end of her I’m-still-calm rope, and loses her shit. Then, she’s labeled a bitch. Or ‘unreasonable.’ As if.
What’s unreasonable is a woman being called a bitch simply because she refuses to stand down.
Now let me clarify what I mean by ‘losing your shit.’
I don’t mean acting like you’re the star in an episode of Snapped.
I mean being extremely direct, not taking any shit from anyone else, declaring what you want, and not accepting anything less.
So really, just being true to who you are.
People who don’t respect you will say this is ‘losing your shit.’ You and I know, however, that you’re really just being true to your damn self and standing up for your values, most likely after many softer, less seemingly-aggressive attempts at doing so.
We all have breaking points. We are human. And by human, I don’t mean inherently flawed, or imperfect. I mean we are emotional beings. We have our own vibes. We pick up on each other’s vibes. Being in such close proximity to one another can be tricky, especially if you have surrounded yourself with people who attempt character assassination after every move you make.
So why is it important to lose your shit?
You make it clear, to yourself and to those around you, what you aren’t willing to take any longer. The fuse has blown – take notice, people. We all take note when a fuse blows in a house: it lets us know that the circuit was overloaded. That happens to people, too.
Sometimes it takes blowing a fuse to recognize where the boundaries need to be, to set them, and then to enforce them.
REFUSING TO STAND FOR CHARACTER ASSASSINATION
It lets people know that you won’t stand for your character and integrity being attacked.
You’re making it very clear — pointedly, and poignantly — where you stand, and you don’t give a rip if anyone else agrees, or thinks you’re rational, or even cares about your stance.
People who engage in attempted character assassination don’t care about your position — they want to control the outcome and they’ll use whatever tactics possible.
Until you stand up to them. Then they’ll back down like the schoolyard bullies that they are.
It may take time, but hold the line. It will be worth it in the end.
TRUSTING YOUR DECISION-MAKING
It means you’ve stopped questioning yourself and your decision-making. You’re taking a stand. You aren’t backing down.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Not one single person.
When you lose your shit, you are making the decision and leaving it at that.
No explaining yourself. No explaining your motives. No explaining your intentions.
The less you try to convince other people that you’re right in taking whatever action you’re taking, the less you’ll feel the need to convince YOURSELF that you’re right.
You have to do this if you’re going to create the life you want to be living.
It’s essential that when you lose your shit you act with intention, and you direct it at the right person or people. Be clear about what you want the result to be, and who you need to address to get that done.
Then, go ahead and lose your shit. You’ll be stronger for it.
With love and light,
When have you lost your shit and it made a positive difference in your life? Leave a comment below!
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